Emotional
by PX4
Summary: A quick one-shot featuring Chris and his obsessive reaction to the events after the Spencer Estate. Hinted Chris x Jill.


WOW How long has it been since I uploaded to fanfiction? A very long time! I graduated from university, so I blame that for my delay.

Partnership is in the process of being written, I've nearly completed two more chapters, one of them including the fabulous Resident Evil: Revelations.

Super excited for RE6! Wow!

So... explanation about the fic below, I was discussing how Chris' emotions were probably wrecked by Jill's death, so I wanted to write an accompanying fic to Partnership with a quicker, sharper version of what I'll cover in around 2-3 chapters within the fic. The layout of the text is deliberate, I wanted short lines, to give it a poetic shape but to also make sure it wasn't just a big block of text.

(Also apologies, some of my apostrophes appear to have vanished)

So this happened when I was listening to some sad music and feeling rather angry. Arrgh! So emo! :)

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><p>There's a very bitter hole in my body. It's stuck in my throat, it's taken over my mind, and it's eating at my insides. It's taken my heart, and ripping it apart like a wet tissue. How is it that something so selfless could be so selfish? She's gone, I'm here, but it's pointless. I've not eaten in weeks, I can't feel hunger. My eyes are darker, heavier, angrier. Sadder.<br>No-one's spoken to me for two months. Every attempt is trailed off into silence, I can't think about anything else. Clutching a dark blue baseball cap, staring at a pristine white headstone with her name engraved. Pats on the back are unfelt, my skin is numb, my breathing barely there. The clutch on the cap tightens, harder, tighter, crushes it. Why, why did you leave me? I wasn't worth it; you were much more worth a life than me.  
>Where is she, where is<em> he<em>? They're out there somewhere. Mission after mission. Eating away at me. Making me stronger, yes making me _stronger_. I have to be stronger for her. For him. Endless gym workouts, in silence. Weeks are going by, blurring. Indifference to murder is starting to settle in. Bioweapons, not people.  
>Enemies, not victims.<br>It's not murder when their blood splatters all over my clothes; it's a case for quarantine instead.  
>It's not her, so I have to keep going. Europe, Australia, Asia. Nowhere to be found. She found me, how did she find me? Where are the clues? More gym workout. Cant talk, don t want to talk. Socialisation is difficult. My only family has stopped visiting, she's desperate for a sign too, one that says I'm better. Better at what? I need to be better at fighting, ready for him.<br>More blood, more bullets, more muzzle flashes, reloading clicks, shells hitting the floor, screams of anger. It's not her.  
>Gym.<br>Missions.  
>Rinse, repeat.<p>

Africa.  
>A sniff, a hint, a sign, it could be her. Could be. What would I know?<br>Rehearsed one-liners to my temporary partner. She seems bright, but naive. My walls are built, they aren't people.  
>It's <em>not<em> murder.

It's her...  
>It's <em>her<em>!  
>It's not murder; she's not one of them. She's suspended in water? Where is she?<br>'Jill?' the first emotive word in years passes my lips as I stare at the blurry image of her tired face on a screen reporting her being held captive. Her blood type, her height, her hair colour - what happened to her hair?

What happened to her hair? Her skin? Why is she with him? The hood has been pulled back revealing my partner, my saviour, my friend.  
>'<em>Jill<em>? Jill it's me!' I cry, _I'm here, I'll help you, come home with me, please. Please be you, just you._  
>My pistol lowers, Sheva's doesn't. Jill's eyes are so sad, but her face is so angry. 'The one...and only' he says, and before I have chance to reach out to her, she lunges for me, attacks me.<br>Not me, it's me.  
>Your partner, it's me!<p>

A bullet whizzed past my face, from Sheva's gun, Jill expertly dodged it.  
>'<em>NO<em>' I shout, don't shoot her! Not all this work, not all this time. We dodge. We cower, we last it out. Twisting my arm, I'm powerless in her grip, I can only shout and hope she'll hear me, this cant be her. She hears me, tears well up in her eyes as she whispers my name. My heart leaps, its something I've not heard in so long.

She screams, tearing at her chest.

I straddle her as Sheva holds her arms; Jill is screaming up at me, our eyes meet for the first time in years. I dig my fingers into the device, feeling her hot skin tear beneath it. I keep pulling, feeling it tear at her chest, my hands starting to drip with her blood. My heart quickens at the thought she might die. She needs this thing off her - keep pulling.  
>Finally wrenched out, I'm holding her in my arms, blood smearing on her chest, the wound smarting. But she's smiling. She's smiling, because I'm there. There's unspoken emotions passing through our faces, we can't speak them. There's no time.<p>

'You've got to go after him; if you don't millions will die!'  
><em>No! No, I wont, he's not worth it; I need to be around you.<em> 'Yeah but'  
>"Chris! You're the only one who can! Don't you trust your partner?"<br>My heart tightens, who does she mean? Of course I trust you both, but what can I say? I look at Sheva, then at her. I nod at Jill, somewhat reluctantly. I start pacing quickly; get away from it before I stay with her longer, keep her close, tell her she'll always be mine. 'Take care of him' I hear her say. Close to choking at the rejection of helping her escape, I swallow my jealousy as she opens up to Sheva, even in the smallest amount. I give her an indifferent stare as Sheva enters the lift and the doors shut.  
>I breathe.<p>

Sheva looks at me.  
>'That was hard for you, wasn't it?'<br>'Harder than you can imagine'

Revenge. Revenge for her, revenge for all this.  
>They <em>were<em> murders, they _were_ victims, they _were_ people. They died at my hand, but because of him. I've got Jill back now, now it's time to go slay the dragon.

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><p>I wanted to work on the obsessive nature you get from Chris. I mean, he went searching for Jill for so long, he was even at the point that he didn't care about others' lives as much as hers. Doubled with his obvious obsession with Wesker, I thought it would be fun to write his train of thought during this time.<p>

Let me know what you think! I really needed to drill out some quick stuff to take a break from writing Partnership, phew!


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